getting there !

Back to mini's again and want to show you the progress so far on my minilaptop.
It's not so much anymore and I feel confident it's going to be great!

Grateful

Thank you so much, for your wonderful and warm comments! It feels so good to have opened up about my struggles and fears. And admitting to your own, thank you! Although I did know I wasn't alone in this - and everyone is dealing with different things in different gradations - I somehow just couldn't find myself to do what I did know in the back of my mind for a while: just be me, I'm perfect as long as I am who I am, true to myself in every single thing. It just needed time, and I'm finally ready to really put it all to practice. Like Elizabeth said a step at a time and it feels good, finally joining my mind, body and soul to make me whole again.

Debora, the remark about the Guild School was because I finally felt I could do that, am definately good enough for it, without needing it to confirm I could do it. All the time I had wanted to go before that, it was for the wrong reasons, I wanted it for validation, more than anything else, but no more! But I made no actual plans for it. However, the first opportunity I get to go, I'll take for sure! Now I would just love to go for the experience, meeting new and familiar people (like you! That would be great!), doing what we love, sharing our skills, learning from each other and what's important to us and just enjoy everything about what it brings! I'll meet you there!

And as a final note: I can finally hear the music! Meaning I can now also sing and dance without holding back or hiding it, cause I was always too afraid to fail, instead of just enjoying what I loved doing and I had no reason to doubt I wouldn't be great at it either!
I love you guys, thanks again and I'll be back here to share with you where my new way of life is taking me. Wherever it will take me and when I'll be where or what, I just know it will be awesome because I am!

full disclosure

I have a confession to make: I haven't been well in a long, long time. And I never wanted to admit that to myself, not in the way that it is anyway. Let alone to others. Although I did eventually when I could no longer escape the truth and then fighting like a pitbull to show everyone how strong I was, how positive. But never showed my real feelings, not even to myself or the people who were always there for me and showed unconditional love in countless ways. All I knew how was hiding them as much as I could, not sharing anything that really mattered, asking help or daring to lean on others when I simply needed their support. My first step today is to admit that to myself, to my loved ones and here, to you all. I never wanted to, thought it was important to only show my happy, content, proud side and just share my work and tips every now and then. But I just came to realize that's not sharing. I always thought it was about give and take. And I could do both. First part of my life, just giving, then it was also 'taking', allowing myself to things I liked, were important to me as a means to an end.

But I never realized they were never meant as two seperate things, they are two sides of one coin, the coin being what connects them. Giving and taking in the right balance, in the right way is sharing and that's what it's all about. What always should be the objective. The way I didi it, was my way of an attempt to it in a safe way. The way I needed until now. From now on I will show you the good, the bad and the ugly :) And I want to thank you all for being here, with me. Not because of (the number of) comments or the amount of followers (that was important to me before thinking that that was what it was or should be about), although it's still great to hear from you. But it's not important in itself or necessary for me to feel good enough or special and I shouldn't need it to know or acknowledge my own value. I should know that (by now) and just show what I've made because I genuinly want to, not because I need to for whatever reason.

I now know I can do much more than I ever realized and I'm willing to do that, with the help and support I need from my beloved ones, not to rush into things, go to fast again, but then just in another direction. I will finally become the person I can be, be the miniaturist I can be, not holding myself back or selling myself short any longer! IGMA here I come!! :D

Then, there's a little fun trend going on where people show their workrooms or -spaces and I like it! I would like to contribute to that evolving tradition with showing you my workroom. Yes, I have my own room and I'm very happy with it!

how about my doorsign, isn't it great? I found it in a webshop and it makes me smile everytime I see it. Just now I also realize it means I've been too obsessed with things and doing to much alone, I should go out more and connect, be with or meet people ... Got the hint, and already working on it!

You might think these storagesolutions mean I'd have a tidy room, but I don't. Yet.., it will be someday and I'm convinced it will be sooner than I thought, because I've seen possibillies I never saw before. So no, there was no inside storm or something (although, probably metaforically there was), this is just.. well, the way it is. I just have no shame whatsoever. problem with you knowing that.

A phrase that came to me a couple of days ago:

"Alles is zoals het moet zijn, omdat het is"
("Everything is the way it should be, because it is.") I love it!

An absolutely great thing about this room is that it has no windows, but does have a skylight. Since that way no valuable space is lost because of the space a window takes in a wall and light is coming from above. Which is great in itself and also leaves the room much longer in good, usable daylight than the rooms in our house that have windows.

disaster area ;)

the folding table without clutter! and the room in a previous state

So there you have it, full disclosure about the state of my workroom. No sugarcoating, this is it. No reason to be embarrassed about your own less than tidy rooms, here you can see you're not the only one, or - and this is more likely - that it can be much worse :D

And I'd like to share something with you, something Nelson Mandela said during his inaugurationspeech, that I finally (really) get and can maybe inspire you too:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It's our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."

giveaway - the draw !

Hi y'all !
A day later than planned it's time for the draw of the second Fabulously Small giveaway! So without any delay, the winner of the official giveaway-prize is.............

Malu2 of Malu's Mini's!

And then I had a second draw to pick a winner for the consolationprize, a few of the items that turned out less then I hoped/wanted, but can still make someone happy I hope.

And the winner of these is...... Kyle Lefort!

Will you be so kind to let me know your full names and adresses at monique at moonsart dot nl, so I can send the mini's to you? Tnx!